I used to be steeped in spiritual toxicity.
When I first discovered spirituality, I was in my mid-20s, impressionable, deeply wounded, and desperate for healing. It felt like I had found the way to end my suffering. I dove in headfirst, devouring every book I could find, immersing myself in countless practices, and travelling to the most mystical places. I studied under renowned spiritual teachers, renounced most of my physical possessions, took lots of psychedelics and convinced myself that I had reached some higher state of being. I remember feeling enlightened.
While I did gather valuable wisdom and experiences along the way, I also learned how to bypass my suffering rather than face it. I thought I had cracked the code of existence, and in that belief, I carried an unspoken sense of superiority, quietly judging those who weren’t on “the path.” I became disconnected—from myself, others, and the raw truth of being human.
Eventually, it all crumbled in painful and unavoidable ways. That’s when my real healing began. I remember the moment the illusion shattered, and I was stripped bare of all the spiritual narratives I had safely wrapped myself in. It was excruciating. And it was necessary.
This is what’s known as spiritual bypassing—using spirituality to avoid facing our unresolved emotional and psychological wounds. While I fully understand that it is a coping mechanism and feel compassion for my younger self and anyone else in that pattern, we must acknowledge that it’s everywhere, woven into the so-called psychedelic scene, conscious communities and healing spaces.
A lot of shadow and avoidance can exist beneath a shiny surface and moving words. Some of the most spiritually devoted people I’ve met are profoundly lost and abusive to others. There is sadly a lot of abuse happening in psychedelic and spiritual settings. We must be very diligent in choosing whom to work with.
In my therapy practice, I hold a lot of space for men and women healing from sexual, financial, and emotional abuse done by gurus, medicine men, retreat holders, psychedelic facilitators, etc. Please avoid any psychedelic worker with a big "Guru energy", who is leaky with his/hers sexual energy, or who tells you they have the power to heal you. You are the only one that can heal yourself. We are only there to assist, empower and support you in your journey.
For me, true spirituality is not how you look, how much medicine you drink, what practice you do or what lofty beliefs you hold. It’s about being the embodiment of love, being fully present in your body and heart, living with integrity, respect, and compassion, and recognizing that we are all souls experiencing this complicated human journey together—as equals.
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